Kiddos

I've always wanted to work with economically disadvantaged students and students with behavior problems. Boy, do I have that this year. None of the other teachers have that in their classes. I had "melt downs" in my class almost on a daily basis last semester to where I had to call the office for help. I have kids called to the office all the time to talk to a CPS worker. I have kids coming to school all the time talking about custody battles and cops coming to their house and shootings and knives and on and on.We went on a field trip yesterday and I had brought bread and peanut butter/jelly because I knew that probably half my students wouldn't bring a lunch...and the ones that did, it wasn't much. So there I was sitting on the ground with a long roll of paper towels and 5 pairs of bread laid out to make lunches for my kids. The other teachers were just looking at me like "what are you doing?" One of my "behavior" kids had a melt down in the middle of the park. Again, the other teachers and some parents were just looking at us with that same look again. I hate that look.

If I've always wanted to work with these kinds of kids, and I do have them, then why am I struggling so much with working with them. I've figured out that it is because I've made a God out of "other people's approval." It's so hard to "know" that I am a good teacher when I get that look all the time, or when I don't hear that I am doing a good job from other teachers/administrators. But when I seek the Lord's approval (which is not often enough) thats when I feel at peace with my job. I know that he is pleased with what I am accomplishing with them (for the most part. There are some days I don't do so good with them) Those kiddos have come a long way even though they still might not look like the other kindergartners. I haven't had to call the office in 3months for help with an out of control student because I can get them to calm down before it escalades. Sometimes I am the only person that can get a student to calm down when they are in another class. I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back because I know that it is God working through me. I guess I'm just reassuring myself that if I know that God is working through me, then I have his approval and I don't need other's approval.