Thursday, July 31, 2008

Colin's Birthday

I just realized that I never posted about Colin's first birthday! What kind of mother am I? Anyway, it was a lot of fun and he was really cute. All of our family and close friends got to be there and it was very special. Here are a few pictures.

Colin went around to greet all of the guests.

This is the cute firetruck his MomMom gave him. You can also see the bus in the background that his Granny gave him.

He ate cake all by himself. He started out with a spoon but decided that his hands would be a lot faster.

Happy Birthday Colin Wayne! You have brought so much joy to our lives in the past year. I know the next year will bring even more! Mommy and Daddy love you so much!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

My testimony?

I was asked to give my testimony last night. That's not something that I tell often or really even think about often. I have to say it was exciting to hear myself give it. It was an awesome reminder of where the Lord has taken me. So here is my testimony:

When I was 7 I asked Jesus into my heart at a Vacation Bible School at my church. I believe it was as sincere a decision that a 7 year old could make. However, there was much that I did not understand. To me, being a Christian just meant to believe that God was real and to "be a good girl." I believed that for a long time. It wasn't until I was a senior in high school that God's word through scripture began (over the course of the next few years) to change me and change how I thought and felt about my Lord. Ephesians talks alot about being saved by grace...not works. That's when I realized that all of the "good stuff" I had done all these years did nothing for me. It did not make me any more or any less of a Christian. I realized that I could never do enough "good things" for God. But rather I needed to embrace this grace the Lord had given me so long ago....AND that I needed to make this faith my own...not my parent's and not what other's thought it should be. Those realizations have changed my life. And let me tell you God was real to me in a whole new way. Not just in a "he exists" way but in a "he is inside me 'operating' on me" way. Amazing.

We were also asked if we had a "life verse." The first verse that popped into our heads was John 10:10.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

This verse has changed our lives as well. This brought about the realization that spiritual warfare is very true and real, but also that this abundant life that God has in store for us can be very true and real if we choose to live that. This is when "making my faith my own" came into practice. We knew God was calling us to something bigger than ourselves, but here we were planning out our lives to save up lots of money and buy a house and stay where we were. But as hard as it was to realize this, we knew/know that God's plans are better....not just better...but best. The Message quotes John 10:10 as, "A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of.

So we moved. God told us to go away and to study His word and to minister somewhere. So we did. And I can testify to the fact that even though it wasn't and still isn't easy God has given us life that is "more and better life than we ever dreamed of." And that excites me. God has continuously provided for us through our obedience and given us everything we need. We are about to possibly embark on something that we are scared to death of. But I know because of what he as already done for me that he will provide again through obedience. I find strength in God's promise:

"His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by His own glory and goodness." -2 Peter 1:3

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

home sweet home and Zephaniah

I am finally back in my house. I feel a lot better. It's still not right, though. I need my Jeff here. I miss him. He knows me. He knows how I am feeling without me having to tell him. He knows when I need him to hold me and when he needs to just let me yell for a minute. He knows that I don't hold grudges and that I'll get over it in 2.5 minutes. He knows my weird sense of humor (probably because it derived from his weird sense of humor). He knows the routine with Colin. He knows our system. He carries Colin to the car and puts him in, I strap him in while Jeff starts the car. I change Colin's diaper and Jeff takes the diaper to the trash can. I miss the "colin voice" that Jeff does. You see, Jeff's family makes voices for living things that do not have their own voice (ie the cat, dog, and this also includes Colin). I suppose we will have to stop doing that when Colin talks more. Anyway, I am ready to not be apart from him anymore. I am ready for it to be the 3 of us again and not just 2 of us. It has been such a hectic last month. We are exhausted. In fact, I had planned for Jeff and I to go to San Antonio next week, but we decided to cancel it just because we are that desparate to be "home together" and back in a somewhat normal routine. However, I am very glad that my mom is here so I don't get too lonely. Just knowing that she is here and that there is someone to talk to makes it better.

Anyway I really want to share this verse that has been heavily on my heart lately. Zephaniah 3: 17 says,

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

My favorite line is "he will quiet you with his love." Wow.... If you haven't noticed from other posts, analogies help me learn. So sometimes when I read scripture I try to think of an analogy. The first thing I thought of was my son. Sometimes he gets fussy. Sometimes it's because he is sleepy or teething or bored....sometimes I don't think he even knows what's wrong. He just cries because he knows something is not right. But I love it when, no matter what the reason is for his unsettledness, I can calm him and quiet him just by holding him or singing to him or talking to him. He knows that I am his mommy and that I am there for him.

The more I began to ponder this, the more God revealed to me. In those moments when I pick up Colin to hold him, Colin stops crying. He doesn't blame me for whatever is bothering him. He knows I didn't make him sleepy or make him have gas (hehe). He doesn't ask me why he doesn't feel good. He just knows that his mommy is here now and he is quiet. What a wonderful example my son has shown me of the kind of trust and simplicity I should have in my relationship with my God. Sometimes I get loud with my unsettledness or ranting or crying or questions. But God is mighty and he can quiet all of that with his great love. His love is bigger than my hurt, or confusion, or questions. This verse from God challenges me to learn to allow God to quiet all of that...all of just knowing that he is God....he is here....and he is love. I don't exactly know how to do that or what that looks like, but I am eager to find out.

So I apologize that my posts are not as eloquent as some others and that they are all over the place...but the scary thing is that my thoughts make more sense here on my blog than they do in my head. So thank goodness you don't have to see the chaos that goes on up there!

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Comedy of Errors

That's what today was. It was not, however, comical at the time. It all started with trying to pack up all of our crap that we had taken and accumulated in Arlington for the past 3 weeks. (my mom was coming back with me to spend the week with me since Jeff is gone). By the time me and my mom (who are not anal about packing neatly) had packed the van we looked like the Clampets. When we finally got home (which I have been looking forward to doing for a long time) I walked into a house that was 90 degrees and was not cooling off any, a bag of rotten potatoes that stunk up the entire house and left a stain on my what used to be cute kitchen cart, a sink full of dirty dishes that had been sitting there for 2 weeks and smelled like an animal had died there, and a toilet that backwashed know. Needless to say it wasn't the welcome home feeling I was expecting. Anyway, I called the ETBU maintenace guy and he came to look at the ac. A fan was broken and he said that they didn't have the part they needed for it and wouldn't be able to fix it until Monday morning. Well....crap. Sorry I keep saying crap so much. So, me and my mom decided to make the best of it and get a hotel. But before we left, my blood sugar got really low or something and I felt like I was going to die.

So we went to Jalapeno Tree where I stuffed my face and ended up feeling worse afterwards because I ate too much. Then we go to the hotel....I'm feeling better and excited to have a place to live for a few days. We get in the room and guess what......THE AIR CONDITIONER IS NOT WORKING!!!!! It was then that the wrath of Sarah came forth. I literally stomped my foot and screamed like a little baby. Anyway, they move us to another room and it was fine after that. I am at Best Western only 2 miles from my house. I have never ever wanted my home and more importantly my ROUTINE back in my entire life. I feel horrible for my son whose routine has not existed in the past month or so. And when my routine is off I can't remember stuff for him. For example, at Jenni's wedding reception, I thought I had diapers in Colin's bag....but the diapers were all at the church. Seriously? No diapers for Colin? So I had to borrow his bud Chaz's diaper (who is 3 years old mind you...) and duct tape it round his waist so it would fit him. My poor baby.....

All that to say....I wanna go home and I want my routine back. Thanks for listening to me rant for a while. It really all is very funny now.

Monday, July 7, 2008


I'm sitting here at the in-laws while Colin is being entertained by someone other than me. Jenni (Jeff's sister) is getting married this weekend, so there will be alot of running around this week getting last minute details together. I'm also going dress shopping with my bud, Nat, tomorrow who is getting married in March. I'm excited. Wedding are always great....especially when it's for someone who is very close to you.

Anyway, please pray for Jeff and I. It seems as though God has placed a ministry in our laps to lead (although it isn't actually official yet...). We are very excited, but mostly we are SO scared and overwhelmed by the responsibility, time, and discerment from God that this will take. We have very little experience or qualifications. I shared with a friend today that I feel "in over my head." I have heard in a sermon once that, "God gives us things where we feel like we are in over our heads, because he doesn't want us to use our heads." He wants us to simply be vessels of his work and power. Please pray that if it is in his will for us to be used in this ministry, that we would be obedient vessels for his work. Pray that we would have a continuing discernment and "in-tuneness" (couldn't think of a better word) with God. We know we will not be so effective if we do this on our own strength and abilities. Thanks for your prayers.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My boring life

I am totally bored. My mom is at work and I am just trying to kill time before Jeff get's here tonight. I can't wait for him to get here. I didn't see him at all last week. I only saw him on Friday night and part of Saturday. I miss him. He is bringing Guitar Hero. I am totally in love with that game. I have always hated video games. But this and Wii seems much more interactive and productive to me. ...Sooo lets see what other pointless information I can share about my life... My mom told me I should update and I told her I don't have anything exciting to say. She said I should tell everyone that I am eating her tuna and wild rice today (my favorite) and that I should post the recipe. So I will post that next time (maybe...I will probably forget.) So I am also going to kill time by doing another one of these silly surveys. I stole this from Amanda at a special blend. Thanks Amanda for helping me pass 10 minutes of my life!

The ABC's of Me
A) Age ~ 25
B) Burger of choice ~with cheese and no onions or pickles
C) Car ~2206 Kia Rio
D) Dog's name ~ no dogs....just fish
E) Essential item you use every day ~ deoderant
F) Favorite TV show ~ House Hunters
G) Favorite Game to play ~ hmmm...i really like word games like Scrabble or Boggle
H) Hometown ~ Arlington, Tx
I) Instruments I play ~ piano, violin
J) Favorite Juice ~ pine orange banana
K) Whose whatnots would I love to kick? ~ haha...that's funny....i can't think of anyone though
L) Last restaurant I ate at ~ ...Taco Bueno with my Jenni! Jenni and I are both Bueno freaks and they don't have them in Marshall, so we had to take the chance while we had it!
M) Favorite Muppet ~ Beaker! He is a man of few words.
N) Number of piercings ~ both ears are double-pierced
O) Overnight hospital stays ~ only once to have Colin
P) People I was with today ~ Colin, mom, dad, papa, jeff will be here tonight
Q) What do I do in my quiet time ~be quiet
R) Biggest regret ~ I don't regret my decision to move away because I was obedient to Christ, but I do hate that it caused tension in some relationships.
S) Status ~ Married
T) Time I woke up ~ 7:30
U) What I consider unique ~ people's "lifesong." I love hearing other people's stories of how God has worked in them.
V) Vegetables I love ~ black eyed peas, cabbage, tomatoes
W) Worst habit ~ obsessing about what others think about me
X) X-rays I have had ~ none.
Y) Yummy food I ate today ~ I am about to eat a Kolache from Shipleys (another thing I have to take advantage of when I am here)
Z) Zodiac sign ~ who cares.

*I promise I will post something next time that is a little more productive than the nonsense I just posted. I apologize to anyone who just read this :)