Sunday, April 27, 2008

This is our God

The enemy binds. Our God frees. The enemy disables. Our God gives ability to the disabled. The enemy injurs. Our God heals. The enemy wants us to be lonely. Our God is always with us. The enemy wants us to live in fear. Our God gave grace that relieved our fears. The enemy can take our lives. Our God gives life. The enemy is powerful. Our God is more powerful.

"The enemy comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." -John 10:10

Saturday, April 26, 2008


I've always wanted to work with economically disadvantaged students and students with behavior problems. Boy, do I have that this year. None of the other teachers have that in their classes. I had "melt downs" in my class almost on a daily basis last semester to where I had to call the office for help. I have kids called to the office all the time to talk to a CPS worker. I have kids coming to school all the time talking about custody battles and cops coming to their house and shootings and knives and on and on.We went on a field trip yesterday and I had brought bread and peanut butter/jelly because I knew that probably half my students wouldn't bring a lunch...and the ones that did, it wasn't much. So there I was sitting on the ground with a long roll of paper towels and 5 pairs of bread laid out to make lunches for my kids. The other teachers were just looking at me like "what are you doing?" One of my "behavior" kids had a melt down in the middle of the park. Again, the other teachers and some parents were just looking at us with that same look again. I hate that look.

If I've always wanted to work with these kinds of kids, and I do have them, then why am I struggling so much with working with them. I've figured out that it is because I've made a God out of "other people's approval." It's so hard to "know" that I am a good teacher when I get that look all the time, or when I don't hear that I am doing a good job from other teachers/administrators. But when I seek the Lord's approval (which is not often enough) thats when I feel at peace with my job. I know that he is pleased with what I am accomplishing with them (for the most part. There are some days I don't do so good with them) Those kiddos have come a long way even though they still might not look like the other kindergartners. I haven't had to call the office in 3months for help with an out of control student because I can get them to calm down before it escalades. Sometimes I am the only person that can get a student to calm down when they are in another class. I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back because I know that it is God working through me. I guess I'm just reassuring myself that if I know that God is working through me, then I have his approval and I don't need other's approval.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Jeff has officially lost

50 POUNDS! Go Jeff!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Our Saturday

We went to the pond behind our old apartments today. It was a gorgeous day! However, as you can see from the picture, my freckles get a little out of control when I go outside. Colin loves outside so we try to take him out as much as we can.

It was so nice to be somewhere where no one expected anything of me. There are constantly people who expect me to do something and I am constantly expecting things of myself as well. So it is nice to just stop for a while. Thats what I love about tanning. The tanning bed just expects me to lay there and it doesn't get mad if I fall asleep. :)

Anyway, I'm convicted about how intentional I am in getting to know people. I mean I feel like I know people on such a surface level. I want to know people. I want to build relationships and trust with people where they feel they can talk to me. I don't at all mean that in a "nosy" way either. I want to lead people to a God that can change their lives, but I can't help if I don't know anything about their lives. It's also easy to use the "I'm shy and introverted" excuse too, but that is not the life God has called me to. He has called me to a life of compassion and selflessness. He has called me to be like him. I just wish it wasn't so stinkin hard.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


haven't written in a while because I'm so busy. I don't like being this busy. Anyway, Colin has been so fussy for a few weeks (teething, sunburn, etc.) But he seems better now. I stuck my finger in his mouth yesterday to put orajel on his gums and he has a HUGE teeth on the bottom. No wonder he has been fussing. I finally got some hand me down clothes that are 9-12 month clothes and I am so exited. They are SO cute. Now Colin won't be wearing clothes that are too small with his belly hanging out.

On another note...Jeff will be the interim music minister at our church (Crossroads). We are excited. It wasn't really what we were expecting, because Jeff doesn't really even feel called to that area of ministry. He wants to be a pastor. However, we feel this will be a good experience (and pay!). He starts the first sunday in May and will probably go through the end of the summer. Pray that God will give him a spirit of wisdom on how to lead the church closer to God through worship.

Also pray for me. I have been thinking about doing something different other than teaching. Not necessarily in the near future...just eventually. I wanted to go into teaching to love on kids. But instead I find myself competing and performing....not what I wanted to do. It's all about data and scores and who has the highest. Maybe I should care about scores...but I just don't. Also, I am a sore loser. I don't like knowing that other teacher's kids have higher scores. I used to not see myself doing anything but teaching, but now I could see myself doing other things because I am a completely different person than I was 2 years ago when I graduated. I need something that is more fulfilling to me and the people or kids I am trying to reach. Anyway, I've thought about doing stuff with CPS or maybe even going back to school to do something with marriage and family counseling. I know the advantages of the "teacher holidays." However, I would like to feel at peace and content with what I am doing all year rather than only feeling that during 2 1/2 months in the summer. Maybe I am supposed to keep teaching...I don't know...just something I am pondering.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The New Swing

Pepaw (my dad) put up C-man's swing today. We have the perfect tree in the backyard with a nice thick limb sticking straight out of the side of the tree for the swing. Anyway, Pepaw is Colin's new hero because he LOVED it. He was too cute and daddy got some good pics of him.

Saturday, April 5, 2008


So tomorrow is my birthday, and my parents came to see me. They brought a bunk bed for when Colin gets older. So my dad and Jeff are putting it together right now. I'm so excited! My dad is also going to put up Colin's swing on the tree in our back yard. Tonight we are going to Longview to eat somewhere and we are going get my sister. Pretty cool. Yesterday after work, Jeff picked me up from work and took me to Chili's (my favorite). Then when we got home, I was surprised with flowers, a sweet note, and 2 cd's from Jeff. He is so wonderful. It's been a very nice birthday weekend. Colin is sitting next to me right now trying so hard to push some buttons on the laptop. So, I will let him type a little message too. Here it is:


I think he was trying to say that he loves all of you!

Friday, April 4, 2008


Sooo.....Notelpats is Stapleton backwards. I think Notelpats sounds like something from a Dr. Seuss book. Speakin of Dr. kids went on a field trip today to see HORTON HEARS A WHO. What a great movie! Anyway, we went to the city park after the movie and one of my boys fell from the monkey bars and broke his arm. Luckily, the city park is right next door to the hospital. So, I had to stay with him at the hospital until his parents got there. Poor thing. He was so brave though.

On another note, Colin is really starting to say "Mama" and "Dada" A LOT lately. It is so cool! He is such a big boy. Just the littlest things that he can do now make him so grown up. Like he can feed himself a cheerio and he sits in the high chairs at restaurants and in the buggies at stores instead of his carrier. That picture was taken at Chilis. I can't believe that he is already almost 9 months old! He has SUCH a funny personality. I think he is going to have a quirky sense of humor like his daddy and I think he is going to be stubborn like his mommy. Oh dear...he is going to be a mess!