More Than a Song

I’ve tried to find a definition for worship, and I don’t know that there really is other than “ascribing worth” to Him. But how that happens or what that looks like…I don’t know. I don't think I am supposed to know. I have learned that I have to enter his presence and ask him, “How can I worship You today?” Sometimes that is through song, through obedience, through my attitude, through humility, through integrity.

If there is anything left on my heart besides him, I cannot give him my pure heart like he deserves. Any distractions on my heart make it difficult to see that he even is worth anything in the first place. So how can I “ascribe worth” if I truly don’t think he is? I hate that. I hate that I cannot love him as much as he loves me. I hate that I cannot give him what he has given me.

Its easy to forget that worship is more than songs. Like Heart of Worship says “I’ll bring you more than a song.,” Well how do I do that. What can I bring to my God? He says,

“Bring me everything….

everything you love,

everything you hate,

everything you have dreamed of

everything you have planned

everything that hurts,

everything that makes you proud,

everything that is "going good" in your life

everything that has fallen apart,

everything that you think is yours,

everything that you feel has wrongfully been taken away

everything that you think you have answered

even everything you think you believe in.”

Another thing that baffles me is that I can benefit from worship. It seems like I shouldn’t even have the right to feel so fulfilled by a God that deserves more than me. I often wonder if he feels as blessed by my worship as I do.

“Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer. But this I know with all my heart. His wounds have paid my ransom.”

the fam

My 2 boys...

Me and my boy on Mother's Day

3 weeks

Just 3 weeks...and short weeks at that. This coming up week is a 3 and 1/2 day week. The next week is a 4 day week. The next week is a 3 and 1/2 day week for the kids and the other day and a half is a teacher work day. I can do this. Our summer is jam packed with events. But it will be fun though. Not that any needs to read all this, but for my own organization, here are my summer plans....

-some time in June, me and Jeff go on a vacation (maybe)
-June 14 Chaz's birthday party :)
-June 16-20 VBS
-June 23-27 Jeff goes to Youth Camp
-June 30-July 5 stay with my MomMom and Pepaw
-July 6-12 stay with Granny and Pops
-July 12 Timifer's wedding (I am WAY excited about that)
-July 14-18 Children's Camp with UBC
-July 19 Colin's Birthday Party
-July 21-25 Jeff possibly going to Colorado to lead music at a camp
-August 4 start going back up to school to prepare room and go to inservices.

wow. busy. but i am excited. last summer I was pregnant and basically just hung around my new apartment. It was nice and restful, but i am ready to actually DO stuff again. I can't wait. Just 3 weeks.

Don't know why I am doing this

My Man

The Game of Tag about your MAN:
1. Who is your man? Jeffrey Wayne Stapleton
2. How long have you been together? 7 years total. almost 4 years married
3. How long did you date? 2 years
4. How old is your man? 24
5. Who eats more? Jeff
6. Who said "I love you" first? he did in an email then over the phone the next day.
7. Who is taller? Jeff
8. Who sings better? Jeff's good, but I have to say that I am the singer.
9. Who is smarter? definitely Jeff. He throws a fit if he gets a B in his classes. That's not acceptable to him.
10. Whose temper is worse? most definitely mine. Jeff is SOOO laid back.
11. Who does the laundry? Jeff
12. Who takes out the garbage? Jeff
13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? me
14. Who pays the bills? me
15. Who is better with the computer? Jeff...he can basically build one.
16. Who mows the lawn? ummm...ETBU maintenance people
17. Who cooks dinner? restaurants...hehe. really we kind of take turns
18. Who drives when you are together? usually Jeff
19. Who pays when you go out? whoever can get to the card faster. its from the same account
20. Who is most stubborn? me...
21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Jeff...cause I'm never wrong :)
22. Whose parents do you see the most? we see both pretty equally
23. Who kissed who first? He kissed me
24. Who asked who out? He asked me out at 6 am after a lock in. he said, "so do you like wanna be official or whatever?"
25. Who proposed? Jeff
26. Who is more sensitive? Me, but Jeff is a big teddy bear
27. Who has more friends? Jeff. Everyone loves him
28. Who has more siblings? me. I have a bro and a sis. he just has a sis.
29. Who wears the pants in the family? me :)

Love the Lord your God

I was thinking about the command in Matthew 22 to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." Many people (myself included) have probably wondered why a selfless God would give a command that sounds so egocentric. At church today our pastor reminded me that this very command is actually one of the most selfless things our God can say. He wants us to love HIM because He knows that NOTHING or NO ONE can satisfy us like He can. He so desires for us to be fulfilled and unconditionally loved and abundantly satisfied and completely healed of hurt and completely spoken for...just as we desire for our selves. But because of His omninature, only He can do that for us. It's amazing how we are constantly searching for that something or someone (sometimes searching even ourselves) to make us "happy". We think, "If I could just have this or just be like that, then..." Then what? The vicious cycle that occurs is that we get this or that...and we are still empty. So we search again. God does not intend that for my life or yours. He does not intend for me to wander around aimlessly searching for the "answers to life" when God is right in front of us with his arms open wide saying, "Love me with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength."

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." -John 6:35