And we have an answer...

I got the call from Colin's doctor. His MRI came back clear. (Thank the LORD!) Hiss EEG showed quite a few abnormal brain waves. She said he has generalized absence seizures. And we are starting him on a medication for it on Monday. I am ok with all of this because I have had time to process it. I mean I've been watching him do this for about a year and had researched enough that I even assumed that's what it was.

My first thought was, "How much is this medicine going to cost us?" I will do whatever it takes to make sure my son is healthy, but its not fun to think about adding another section in our budget when we already don't make enough to meet the other sections. (Its all child care's fault! Lol) So I called CVS and they said it would be between 10 and 15 bucks! Woohoo! Thank the Lord again!

Now just pray that this medicine works and that we don't have to change to a different one. There are some possible side effects that may not be too fun depending on how severe. We also have to have his blood levels checked some to make sure they are stable. ??? Don't really know what that means yet, but I guess we will find out.

Thanks for your prayers, friends. :)

Finally...

We finally have our appointment. We go this Wednesday to have Colin's MRI and EEG done at LSU Shreveport. Seems like every time I complain on this blog about something not happening fast enough it happens right after I complain! So next time you see a complaint, don't think "I wish she would hush!" Just think, "She's trying to get stuff done!" Haha.

I'm nervous for 2 different reasons. I'm afraid they will find something wrong with him. I'm afraid they won't find something wrong with him. Im fearful of the words, "He has a tumor." That would break my heart. But I fear just as much to hear, "It came back clear." Not that I want something to be wrong with him, but it would just leave an unknown why in my heart. Unanswered questions to his "symptoms." I would also be bummed that we wasted money on something that came back clear.

But for now, I am just darn thankful for a stinkin appointment!!!!

Preach it brotha...

Memorizing verses does no good unless you obey it. My prayer is that he will obey later what he is so easily memorizing now.

on my heart.

Here is what has been on my heart lately. I'll try to keep it concise without rambling.

1. A get this "itch" every year or so to have some sort of BIG life change. The past 4 years have consisted of moving towns and houses, having babies, and new jobs. Well its been about a year since I have had a big life change (Carley) and now I am getting that "itch" again to do something big in our life. I know that is probably unhealthy in some ways and may seem a little "discontent" or like I get bored easily. Ill be honest and say that the thought has crossed my mind lately that maybe its time to move. We have been here for 4 years, I feel "comfortable," and selfishly I want us to have better paying jobs to support our little family. But I'll also be honest and say that every time I have that thought, God tells me no and I agree with him. I have never agreed more to the lyrics "Greater things are yet to come, Greater things are still to be done in this city." Lord, help me to not mentally check out of this town. I'm at a point where things are routine here and its harder to hear you and obey what you will have me do in the depths of my crazy routine habits. Give me a love and passion and patience for your people here in East Texas.

2. We had our first appointment with the pediatric neurologist a few weeks ago at LSU. I was nervous but we LOVED this doctor. She was very attentive to Colin's needs. Now we are going through the hassle of trying to set up an MRI and EEG appointment. However, insurance is a pain in the hiney when we have Blue Cross of Texas and LSU is not in Texas! So it should work out, but we have to wait for all the wrinkles to be smoothed out and wait on authorization from Blue Cross. That makes this momma's heart anxious and testy. All this extra waiting time has been filled with thoughts of "what if..." Seizures, Tourettes, Autism, and Tumors have all flown back in forth through my brain. I know his condition could be way worse and I am thankful every day his behaviors are mild. But the fact that it is not obvious what is wrong with him or what is causing it makes me stinkin crazy. Lord, protect Colin. Keep your hand on him every day. I thank you that you are our protector and provider and healer. Quiet my anxieties and thoughts with your love.

3. One of my biggest pet peeves is "TIME WASTING." I can't stand when people waste my time and I can't stand feeling like I just wasted someone else's time. I like productivity and efficiency. I confess that I've been a time waster lately. I spend way too much time on facebook and pinterest. I could and should be spending more time playing with my children and talking with my husband and digging into God's word. I know some of you good momma's are probably thinking "How could you not spend time with your kids!" Welp...I wish I was more like you. I adore my kids and do spend time with them but when I go to take a little "me break" it sometimes turns into a longer break than was intended. I long for God's words to comfort me and encourage me, yet I haven't been seeking his words as much as I should. Lord, you have the words of life. Give me discipline to seek them and to resist time wasting activities. Help me to make the most of my time with my family. Let me be a good steward of my family and my time.

So there you go...a little portion of things that have been on my heart. Now I'm going to get off here and play with my childrens!

Updates

So a few updates...

1) We had 17 students from our youth group go forward at a revival in Marshall and make a decision for Christ. Follow up on these students will be difficult with it being so many. So I will be taking Jeff's small group on Wednesday night so he can make a small group for those 17 students (I know, not so small, huh?) to talk with them more about their decisions and the next steps. Super exciting stuff! Please pray for these students. Pray that they would base their faith on truth on not emotion so that those days when they wake up and they are "just not feeling the whole God thing" or "just don't feel like it is real" they will KNOW its real because of the truth. Pray for Jeff to have words of clarity and encouragement when he speaks to them.

2) Work. is. killing me! So much "new" stuff happening. New report cards, new forms to fill out all the time, new assessments! And I'm in the process of being GT certified. I will be so glad I did it when it is finished, but as of right now I am not the best example of "Do everything without complaining (Phil.2:14)" But I have a super sweet class this year. I am enjoying their sweet and eager personalities. This class can totally handle creative activities that require lots of movement and freedom without me worrying that they will get too wild. Fun to try those kind of things with them!

3) I am going to go out on a limb and say that Carley is an official walker...when she wants to be. She can so do it. She will pop up and walk across that living room floor sometimes. But most of the time she crawls...cause its faster! She is my sweet joyful girl with that 6 toothed cheesy grin! I love her.

4) Colin's Neurologist appointment went so well! We LOVED his doctor. We were worried about LSU being such a huge place with so many people in and out. I thought she would rush through the appointment and not really listen to our concerns. She was so attentive to Colin and so kind. I feel like we struck gold with her! He will be having an EEG and an MRI sometime in the next few weeks so please pray for him and for the technicians. He is a special boy to us and we are anxious to get results and make decisions from there to get this under control.

So life is good. It is full of busy-ness, anxiety, and exhaustion...but its good. Normally during times like this I get extremely overwhelmed very quickly. But this time is different. And I really think its because of the Word of God. The Bible has never really been that important to me until the past year. I now have his word hidden in my heart for times such as this. These 2 verses have been my source of strength over the past month.

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him. -Lamentations 3:22-24

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing. -Zephaniah 3:17