30 Days of Truth? Sure...I'm in!

I'm copying this from Taylor...who is copying from someone else. Apparently the big thing right now in "blogger world" is this 30 days of truth. Basically each day has a "writing prompt." Like my friend, Taylor, said, "I can't promise that I'll do this in 30 consecutive days." Life is crazy busy and some days I can't even get to the bathroom before 10:00 at night...much less sit down to write a blog post! So...here I go!

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.

Well, well, well. I want to start out by saying that Christ has changed my life. I can honestly say that alot of the things that used to taunt me about myself don't sting quite so bad now because of the love that Christ has shown me. That being said though, the devil still works and those things are still there. It just doesn't control me like it used too. I say all this not with a "look at me" motive but to give others hope that poor self-image can be overshadowed by the brightness of God's love for us.

But anyway, here are a few of those things. We shall start with the physical. I hate my long skinny nose and I hate the "inner-tube" of flab I have developed around my belly/hips because of prego-ness. One of those things I can attempt to change...one of those I cannot.

Now we will shift to the personality. I am a combo of my mom and my dad. My mom is an extrovert and my dad is an introvert. I am both. But what I hate is that the times when I need or want to be introverted I end up hurting someone's feelings. For example, one of my VERY dear friends here is very much a person who needs quality time, and when I don't give that to her I hurt her. Same with a VERY best friend who is far from me. Wish I didn't need to be introverted sometimes.

Also, I hate that I am so defensive. If I feel like anyone is attacking me and my character, or my husbands, or my kids....then I do and say things I regret. I hate that about myself.

Now, a shift toward the spiritual. I hate that I try to base my spiritual disciplines and passion for Christ on my emotions. If life is going my way, I am disciplined and excited for Christ. But its much harder for me to be that way when things are hectic or tough.

Now, toward parenting. I hate that I am quite guilty alot of being a "doer" type of Mommy rather than a "quality timer" type of Mommy. Sometimes I forget that being a mom is more than washing bottles, fixing meals, bathing, and putting to bed. I wish it was more natural to me to let those tasks go and enjoy and invest in my children's lives.

One last area...marriage. I hate that I take all frustrations out on my husband. He loves me unconditionally. I take advantage of his gentleness and puke my emotions out on him at the end of the day. And its like that violent hurling type of puking. Not pretty. Then I have to go through the not so enjoyable task of "cleaning up the puke" (aka apologizing). For me to love him would be for me to be more intentional and purposeful with my words toward him. Thats a challenge for me.

Don't have a clever way to end this...so...in the words of my husband, "WELP! See ya later!"