How did the chicken cross the road......

I really have no idea why I titled this post that. Just thought it would get some people's attention I guess.

So I got nominated for 2 awards! The first one is from Taylor. The second is from Kate. So I am going to kill 2 birds with one stone and do both of them in one post.


Rules: answer the following questions in 2 words or less.....

1. Where is your cell phone? -- table
2. Where is your significant other? -- with Tim
3. Your haircolor? -- blonde
4. Your mother? too far
5. Your father? -- too far
6. Your favorite thing? -- learning
7. Your dream last night? -- being rejected
8. Your dream/goal? -- obedience
9. The room you're in? -- bedroom
10. Your hobby? -- music
11. Your fear? -- rejection
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? -- being obedient
13. Where were you last night? -- church
14. What you're not? -- motivated
15. One of your wish-list items? -- dishwasher
16. Where you grew up? -- Arlington
17. The last thing you did? -- rocked Colin
18. What are you wearing? -- chucks
19. Your TV? -- is off
20. Your pet? -- fishies
21. Your computer? -- is yellow
22. Your mood? -- discouraged
23. Missing someone? -- home family
24. Your car? -- too small!!!!!
25. Something you're not wearing? -- necklace
26. Favorite store? -- Target
27. Your summer? -- without Jeff
28. Love someone? -- Jeff Colin
29. Your favorite color? -- green
30. When is the last time you laughed? -- today
31. When is the last time you cried? -- Tuesday





Rules:
list 6 things I value and 6 things I don't and then pass this award on to 6 people!

6 things I value:
1. My relationship with God
2. Jeff and Colin
3. Chilis
4. authenticity
5. words
6. sleeeeeeep

6 things I don't value:
1. media
2. the approval of others (well, I'm working on not valuing that more than God's approval)
3. fakeness
4. drama
5. the fact that i cannot beat mom's score on pathwords.
6. the new facebook

And now, the nominees are...

Nena, Sharla, Joyia, Maile, Sharon, Amanda

Natural Self vs. New Creation

I know that I am not the only Christian who has felt the internal battle for my heart. I feel pulled in two different directions. I want to appease my "natural self" but long to be obedient to Christ. The 2 just can't work together. I know this is kind of a goofy video (my mom told me about it), but this is often how I feel....

Aww Snap!

...like there are 2 different Sarahs going in 2 different directions and getting nowhere except for falling flat on my face. I have been reading excerpts from C.S. Lewis who says this...

Christ says, "Give me All. I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work. I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it."

Such powerful words that make so much sense on paper (or on blog), but not so much sense put into my life. I love that God wants to kill my natural self. I heard it described as "using your natural self as a starting point for God to build on top of....like you've made Christ an addition to yourself." That is not giving all of me to Christ. I should allow God to kill my old self isntead of fighting him. I should allow him to give me that new life...to make me a new creation.

"The contrast between God's way of doing things and our way is never more acute than in this area of human change and transformation. We focus on specific actions; God focuses on us. We work from the outside in; God works from the inside out. We try; God transforms." -Richard J. Foster

However it does come with costs...this discipleship. Luke 14:25-33 speaks of this. It has already cost me some things, like friendships, approval, comfort, financial comfort, time. But there are some costs, some areas that I haven't given to him. I may have given back to him through some of my actions, but I have not given him my selfish or empty motives, my worry, or my autonomy in those actions.

"Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple...none of you can become my disciple if you do not give up all your possessions." ~Luke14:25-33

stuffity stuff stuff

I have no idea what to write about, but felt the need to. So we will see what comes out of my fingers! Things are going....and when I say going, I mean going. We are SO busy. Which is good and bad at the same time. I am excited about everything that I am involved in, but it also leaves very little time for very very important things like spending intimate time with God and with my family. I am also missing my "spiritual feeding" time. I miss going to a Sunday School class or meeting with our small group in my house. I am definitely feeling the effects (like my heart feels heavy that I am not being fed). I am SOOO hungry for it.

Youth ministry is going as well as it can. Meaning....it's hard to do this in a part time capacity. Jeff cannot wait to graduate so we can do this full time. But considering the time constraints its going pretty well for a first time experience. Jeff loves our pastor and the pastor loves us which makes it great too. Our pastor knows how to challenge Jeff and push him to do something more in youth ministry without making us feel like failures. That relationship is such a blessing.

School is going great this year. My kids are so stinkin sweet, but they can be little toots if you let them get away with it. I feel bad because I want to be really "soft" with them. I want to play with them and hug them and stuff. But the harsh reality of public school (especially in this community) is that you can't be that way or you lose control and as a result your kids don't learn. My kids (well all of Kindergarten, really) are very academically low this year, but hopefully since I have better classroom management this year, I will be able to get them where they need to be.

On another note, Colin is so dang BIG! He doesn't walk anymore......he RUNS!!!! It cracks me up. He has all these little riding toys and he will all of a sudden go shooting through the living room. But as a result of the walking, running, and riding, he gets SO many bruises and bumps now. I guess that comes with the territory. He has quite the vocabulary too. Here is a list of his vocabulary.....

1.mama
2.daddy
3.uh-oh
4.up
5. eat
6.poo-poo :)
7. thank you (which sounds like (dah-cue)
8.ball
9. go
10.bye bubbles (everyday he says bye to bubbles...that is Ms. Betty's fish)
11. He also says, "1,2"
12. yuck

Also, I am reading a book called, "Do Hard Things." It is really cool. It is written by these 17 year old twin boys who are challenging teenagers to a "rebelution." Basically the big idea is that they are challenging teens to rebel against low expectations. Honestly I think its something adults need to be challenged to do as well. I know I was convicted as soon as I started reading it. Very interesting. I added a link to their website and blog. Take a look.

Believe

First I just want to say that I LOVE the Lifeway material for our sunday school class for the youth. It is the "Known" series and it is good stuff. Anyway, we've been following this curriculum for a while and it has been a whole series on how we are sinful, we can't fix it on our own, but God can because Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, etc..... I had a discussion with a girl who said, "I don't know if I even believe in God." That got me to thinking about what that means to believe in God. Then the very next Wednesday, Jeff asked, "What does it mean to believe in something?" My first thought has always been, "To know it is real." Now that means something totally new to me.

I started thinking about the things that we believe in and why we believe in it. We believe in something because we see the effects of it. We believe that air is there (even though we don't see it) because we see the effects through the wind and the leaves moving. Also.....it gives breath and life. We believed in Santa Clause because we saw the gifts he left behind and the evidence that he was there because of the leftover cookie crumbs.

Then I became convicted. We believe that God exists but don't believe what he can do. We don't believe in the evidence that He can leave behind. A few years ago, God just merely existed to me, but I didn't believe in his power until I allowed it to work in me and through me. Now I believe. I see the evidence. I have seen what he can do. I believe that he has turned my bitter and cold heart into one that beats for him. I believe that he has changed the most apathetic man into one of the most disciplined men I have ever seen. I believe that God has provided in a situation that seemed financially impossible. I believe that God has taken 2 very lost and sinful people and used them to bring others closer to Him. Not at all am I saying that I have arrived.....there are many things that I am still struggling to believe that God can do.

I looked up the definition of believe and it said...

to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something

Ok, I really like words....and the word that stuck out most to me is 'have' (oddly enough...it is just one little word) because it means I can possess this.

I have also heard that it means "to trust what one has heard or seen." I almost don't like that definition because it insinuates that I can't experience God for myself. I don't have to just hear about him from someone else's story. I can see his goodness, efficacy, and ability to do powerful, life changing things in my own life if I choose to let him move.

I got mooned today.