I guess since Valentines Day is approaching, I wanted to honor my husband, Jeff, by posting this letter. This is a letter that I wrote to myself. I wrote it today but am addressing my past self...myself 8 years ago when we were first married.
You didn't know what you were doing. You didn't know who you were marrying. You thought you were marrying Prince Charming. You thought you were marrying innocence. You thought you were marrying someone who was going to work his way up in the technology department and eventually make some big bucks. You thought y'all were going to work really hard to save a ton of money and buy a huge house and boat and nice cars. You thought marriage and life was going to be a breeze and you'd live happily ever after.
You didn't know that he would break your heart and disappoint you. You didn't know that he wouldn't be able to meet all your needs. But you also didn't know that he was never intended to because there is a God who CAN meet all your needs.
You didn't know that God would take hold of his heart the way that He violently did. You thought you were already in love with him. You didn't know that watching his heart be radically changed by God would not only capture your heart but would change your own heart as well.
You didn't know that the man you married could be so disciplined and hard working. You didn't know how extremely intelligent and creative he was. You didn't know how much he would end up loving to read and didn't know that he would lay in bed next to you and read EVERY night for hours on end. You also didn't know that he would hog the dinner conversations to talk about things he was passionate about...photography, guitars, and the re-telling of what he'd read so far in his current nightly readings. You didn't know that he'd be so different from you but that his character would fascinate you so much. You didn't know that your opposite personalities would work so well together.
You didn't know that he would actually follow through with obeying God's call to the ministry. You didn't know how much he would teach you about God's word and God's character. You and him both said that you'd NEVER do youth ministry. You didn't know that you would...and that you would work together to do it...and actually love it. You didn't know that you'd both make pay cuts by moving and starting ministry. You didn't know that there would be some months that yall would crunch numbers and wonder how you'd make it. But you also didn't know that God would always provide.
You didn't know that he would make you feel the way he would. That when you were trying to be mad at him and yell at him that he would end up making you laugh with a dumb facial expression or a stinky fart. And that on the worst days of your life, you'd just want him and no one else.
You didn't know that he would start losing his hair or that you'd see wrinkle lines around his eyes when he smiles. But you didn't know that for some reason he'd be so much more handsome to you now than he was when you married him.
You didn't know that watching him be a Daddy would give you such a clear picture of God's love for his children. You didn't know how much of a huge role he'd play in raising our kids. You didn't know how LOUD he could be when playing with them or how overly excited the kids would be every time they hear that carport door open upon his return.
You didn't know it would be this hard, but you didn't know that it would be this rewarding. You didn't know you would be capable of loving someone this much. You didn't know you would thank God for him everyday.
Love,
A thankful wife of almost 8 years
1 comments:
Love this!
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